When it comes to dementia, Laughter truly is the best medicine

Caregiving for someone with dementia is neither easy nor for the faint of heart. It is certainly not a laughing matter – it’s a serious responsibility filled with many decisions and little sleep. It was almost 20 years ago when it was determined that my Mama had dementia. Back then, there were very few resources or books that offered advice about how to do day-to-day care. After our Daddy passed away, my sister, husband, and I realized we had to figure out how to navigate this journey with very few signposts along the way.

There is nothing funny about dementia. However, we learned early in our caregiving that anything that made Mama laugh, such as movies or picture books, became part of our daily routine. Witty puns and plays-on-words had always been part of Mama’s daily life. She loved a good (clean) joke and enjoyed laughing. Though Mama loved to be funny, her humor never came at anyone’s expense. One day, quite by accident, we discovered that dementia had changed our sweet, kind, and gentle Mama into a regular schadenfreuder, (somebody who laughs when someone trips or drops something).

If Mama laughs, everyone is happy

One day we were watching a Shirley Temple movie. There was a scene where the old truant officer was chasing Shirley because she had skipped school. During the chase, the officer slipped on a banana peel. When Mama saw that, she began to laugh and laugh – which made us laugh. So, of course, we played that part of the movie over and over again – each time Mama thought that it was the funniest thing she had ever watched. Armed with that bit of knowledge, we added slapstick movies like The Three Stooges to her collection that had previously held only sweet movies like her all-time favorite: Sound of Music. When Mama watched her funny flicks, it delighted her and lightened her mood. The rest of the evening usually went smoother.  It seems that the saying is true, “If Mama’s happy, everyone is happy”.

We love to Laugh

What is it about laughter that makes us feel better? When I was a little girl, the Disney movie Mary Poppins came out. Our folks bought the soundtrack, which my sister and I listened to it constantly. My favorite song was, “I Love to Laugh” sung by Uncle Albert (Ed Wynn), and Bert (Dick Van Dyke). If I’m being honest, I loved all the songs from the movie and occasionally sing them to this day.

The lyrics in the song “I Love to Laugh” offer some pretty great advice. For example, one stanza says:

“The more I laugh, the more I fill with glee
And the more the glee
The more I’m a merrier me, it’s embarrassing
The more I’m a merrier me”

Okay, so it is probably not always wise to take advice from a children’s movie, but what about from a study?

Laughter Advice from the experts

According to Nuvance Health, “Laughing increases the brain’s production of endorphins — the natural way your body relieves pain, reduces stress, and boosts mood. Laughing also increases your intake of oxygen-rich air and blood flow and circulation, which can improve brain health. Having belly laughs with others to reap the benefits of laughter and staying social.”

Additionally, the Mayo Clinic says that “Laughter is a great form of stress relief, and that’s no joke”.  It also states that laughter has both short-term and long-term benefits. Laughing provides a good, relaxed feeling in the short-term, and then may provide an improved immune system among other benefits in the long-term.  

A great quote is attributed to William James, popularly recognized as the “Father of American Psychology.” He states, “I don’t laugh because I’m happy, I’m happy because I laugh“

Laughing at funny photos

With Mama, it wasn’t just movies that made her laugh, another favorite was a church directory that held photos of all the members. Mama loved to look through that book. There was one face in particular (I believe), she was looking for every time. One of the older saints had a peculiar expression on her face. Mama would slowly turn the pages one at a time looking at all the smiling faces. Once she turned to the page to the one with the odd smile, Mama would sit up straight, point at it, and laugh at the photo – all the while trying to copy the look. The whole episode made us laugh with Mama. It was something we looked forward to at least once a day.

Laughing all the way

Laughing with our sweet Mama might have only lasted a few moments, but it always lightened the atmosphere and lifted our spirits every time we laughed along with Mama.

Find ways to laugh. Watch a funny movie or read a joke book. Be silly, make silly faces, or even pretend to laugh – which, at times can be enough to prime the laughter pump. Laughter is free medicine that you can’t overdose on. As Milton Berle says, “Laughter is an instant vacation.”

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Has your world been touched by dementia?

My book, “Finishing Well: Finding the Joy in Dementia“, is a collection of stories and tips about doing life with my Mama.  May it encourage and inspire you to find joy on your own, unique journey.