While my Daddy was still alive, my parents lived in a little cottage on several acres in the country. They loved living independently, but over time they began to need more and more help in order to remain ‘independent’. My sister, husband, and I made multiple trips daily out to their place to bring meals, dispense medicine, clean, and even a few fun things, which included singing, snacking, and reminiscing.
Remembering to Feed the Fish
One of our favorite things to do while hanging out was to sit outside in the cool of the day and watch the goldfish swim in Mama’s 500-gallon stock tank. Mama loved her goldfish – she even named them. She enjoyed feeding time and watching as they swam near the surface to enjoy their food. Over time, we began to notice all the little goldfish had grown to resemble Nemo the clownfish. I asked Mama how often she fed them. “About once a day,” she would reply, “and I think it’s about time to feed them now.” There was a problem with her statement. She had just finished feeding them when we arrived that day. As it turned out, since Mama couldn’t remember that she’d fed them, every time she looked at her fish, she thought they were hungry. I decided to hide the fish food and give it to her when we were there for a visit.
Memory issues? Or Normal forgetfulness
At that point, we were just beginning to suspect Mama had dementia. Memory issues, such as forgetting if we’ve fed the fish, however, do not just plague those with dementia. Forgetfulness can also show up within a busy lifestyle or during times of stress. Also, mislaying things may not be a new development – some folks tend to be a bit absent-minded. No matter what the reason that causes us to misplace or forget things, there are strategies we can employ to help mitigate our forgetfulness.
Memory enhancing Lists
Wayne and I are list makers. In fact, ‘list making’ could be found at the top of my list of super-powers. There is a direct correlation between creating a list and accomplishing activities, errands, or projects we need/want to do. When we go for any length of time without a list, very few things get done that need doing. It’s not the creating of lists that I love so much, I receive the greatest amount of satisfaction from the crossing off items on my list. In fact, if I happen to accomplish something that wasn’t on the list, I will usually add it simply for the joy of crossing it off.
I also find that if I jot down notes during a conversation – especially on the phone, I can more easily remember important details.
Memory enhancing Routines
One of the ways that Wayne and I remember daily things is by creating routines. We don’t always get it right, but we try to put everything in the same place. For example, we have specific hooks where we hang our car keys, purse, hats, etc…. I also place our medicines in the same place each day as reminders. Our evening routine includes watching a TV show, reading, having a devotional time, and brushing our teeth. If possible, we try to keep our bedtime the same every night. Our morning routine begins with coffee. After that, we have breakfast and discuss what is on our schedule and list for the day.
Mnemonics help our memory
Using mnemonics is another way to help us all remember. Loma Linda University defines mnemonics in the following way: “Mnemonics (the initial “m” is silent) are clues of any kind that help us remember something, usually by helping us associate the information we want to remember with a visual image, a sentence, or a word.” Their website provides several brief examples of how to employ mnemonics to help us remember.
My sister has a fun mnemonic routine. Every time she leaves her house – especially to go to the store, she sings this little jingle to the tune of ‘Head and shoulders, knees and toes’ (also known as “There is a Tavern in this town”). She replaces the words with ‘Glasses, wallet, keys and phone’. It can even be expanded if there are more items to remember.
One of the ways we employ mnemonics is during an annual home nurse visit required by our insurance. The nurse usually checks all the vitals, reflexes, and medications. At some point, she gives three words to remember until later in the visit. We also must draw a clock with a specific time on it. Wayne recently had one of those. On his visit, the three words were Tiger, Banana, and Airplane. Using mnemonics, he could picture a tiger eating a banana while sitting in an airplane. He passed that test. (He also drew a nice clock with the correct time.)
Memory enhancing squirrels
Have you ever been in the middle of a conversation and then suddenly forgot the name of something? Call it something else! Let me explain. My sister once shared a funny story where someone used noun substitution to explain something. One day, a friend of hers was picking up an order of freshly caught salmon. They looked a bit rough, but the person providing the fish assured her that though they had a few shark bites, the salmon were still good. Later, when she got home, she tried to explain to her husband about what happened to the fish. She couldn’t think of the word, shark, so she said, “They were attacked by …um… squirrels.” Since hearing that story, whenever we can’t think of the name of something, we use the word, ‘squirrel’ – works for us!
Memory podcast with Lisa Genova
According to Author and Neuroscientist Lisa Genova, (author of ‘Still Alice’), not finding a word at the tip of our tongue is something that plagues us all. She assures us that it is really common whether you’re 20 or 60. So don’t sweat it if we forget the names of cities, book titles, movie titles, or people’s names.
A while back, Wayne and I read Lisa Genova’s book titled, “Remember: The Science of Memory and the Art of Forgetting“. We loved it. I recently found a YouTube interview of Lisa Genova by David Shenk author and co host of “The Forgetting” podcast. It’s about an hour long, but I believe it will be time worth spending.
Memory help
Our lifestyles can play a part in how well we remember. According to the University of St. Augustine for Health Sciences, “The best way to protect and improve long-term memory is by making good lifestyle choices: exercising regularly, limiting stress, eating healthfully, and getting enough sleep. These healthy habits not only protect brain function but specifically enhance recall memory performance as we age.”
For extra help, the Alzheimer’s Society offers a downloadable list of Memory Tips and Tricks to provide additional suggestions.
Humor helps as well. When it comes to remembering, my sister and I have a saying, “I don’t remember ever forgetting anything!” 😉 If all else fails – laugh.
Has your world been touched by dementia?
My book, “Finishing Well: Finding the Joy in Dementia“, is a collection of stories and tips about doing life with my Mama. May it encourage and inspire you to find joy on your own, unique journey.