Even though this is supposed to be “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year”, when you are a caregiver for a loved one with dementia, celebrating Christmas can become challenging.
When my Mama, who had dementia for well over a decade was in the early stages of the disease, she was still aware of seasons and most holidays. As time went on, she became less so. Dementia stole her ability to look forward to Christmas, birthdays, or any other previously meaningful day or time of the year. The pages turned on the calendar, but her days remained the same.
Memory triggers
The good news is that there are ways to help stimulate your loved one’s memories. An article published in ExploringYourMind.com explains how our five senses evoke memories.
Depending on your loved one’s traditions and culture, there may be several times of the year when familiar celebrations could be held in hopes of reviving joyful emotional memories. Christmas or Hanukkah may be the place to start. Everyone will have their memory triggers, but here are a few ideas to get you started.
Visual reminders
Visual triggers that evoke emotions may include a tree decorated with old-fashioned decorations such as paper chains, and (electric) candles. Greenery with holly berries and poinsettias can be placed around your loved one’s room. Hang a simple wreath with holly and berries on the interior side of their door. If you or your loved one enjoys crafts, here is a wreath-making video that provides a variety of ideas.
Smells of Christmas
According to an article in Prevention, memories are closely linked to our sense of smell. It is because the two areas of the brain where smells are processed and the regions of the brain responsible for processing these emotions and memories are intertwined in the same general structure.
Delightful smells of Christmas abound to evoke powerful memories along with their accompanying emotions. Spices such as cinnamon, gingerbread, and even fresh-cut pine trees were likely among your loved one’s childhood experiences. If baking isn’t practical, an infuser can provide familiar scents, or you can always add a few cinnamon sticks in warm water with a couple of drops of vanilla to fill the air with a lovely fragrance.
Taste of Christmas
Taste is another sense that may conjure up memories from an earlier time. Many will find candy canes, gingerbread cookies, or a slice of fruitcake a welcome treat.
Musical reminders
Mama’s most powerful trigger was music! She loved to sing and listen to a wide variety of songs. Even while all her other abilities were failing, she was still able to sing along with the music. We spent a great deal of time during the holiday season singing Christmas carols.
If your Loved one can still get out, attending a church service or Christmas concert during the season may bring back childhood memories. I can still remember the sights and sounds as well as the wonderful aroma of the wooden pews and hymnals in the church I attended as a child.
Looking back, I realized that since Mama wasn’t aware of the seasons, we could have celebrated Christmas all year long.
Gift ideas for your loved one
Buying your loved one Christmas presents can be tricky. Depending on their level of ability, there are all types of ‘fidget’ products: blankets, books, and pillows. You can find a wide variety of items from your favorite online retailer or craft fairs. Keep in mind that small, pretty hand-held items such as stress balls can make it difficult for someone with dementia to determine whether something is edible or not. Speaking of eating, I recently read an article in Alzheimer’s Weekly about those with dementia using red plates for eating. Plates, cups, and bowls could each be wrapped separately to provide more gifts to open.
Many years ago, I wrote in a previous post, “It’s beginning to look , (smell & sound) a lot like Christmas”: “Since the senses are connected to memories, it is possible to provide your loved one with memory-triggering pleasures year around, but at Christmas, it is almost as if the whole world is in this process with you. It is no less true today, Merry Christmas!
Has your world been touched by dementia?
My book, “FinishingWell: Finding the Joy in Dementia”, is a collection of stories and tips about doing life with my Mama. May it encourage and inspire you to find joy on your own, unique journey.
These are great ideas. Making the holiday season an opportunity for memories is an excellent way to honor our loved ones.