It is refreshing to discover that in a world filled with stories about dementia – living with it, caring for folks who have it, or actively trying to lower their own risk, there are still folks who remain sharp and vibrant as they reach 80 years of age. A good friend of mine, D’Lorah Hurton, just threw a fantastic 80th birthday party for one such octogenarian – her father-in-law.
D’Lorah and I have been friends for over 50 years. During a recent visit, I learned that she had not only put together quite the celebration for her father-in-law’s big day, but she also recorded his life history – complete with photos. She has graciously agreed to post his story on this blog. Enjoy his journey.
The story of Patrick Anthony Hurton
By D’Lorah Hurton
Patrick Anthony Hurton was born June 26, 1943, in Bath, England. His Irish father, Paddy, took work in England in 1940 to help his large family, of which he was the oldest. Paddy’s father back in Ireland was a pensioned war veteran, and his mother tended the one-room home in County Waterford, Ireland with 9 children.
Paddy and Mercia – early days
Patrick’s father, Paddy worked painting buildings in London. His mother had aged out of an orphanage run by the Nuns. She and her friend secured jobs and had taken a flat together in London. Mercia worked writing captions on picture post cards. Their landlady made them lunch, for a fee. As they left work together to go to lunch, her friend forgot her purse. Knowing the landlady wouldn’t give her lunch without paying, the friend went back inside the building while Mercia waited across the street. There was an air raid, and the building was destroyed. She lost her friend, and her job. Mercia stood a while in shock, then went to lunch.
Paddy meets Mercia
Paddy and Mercia met at a dance. Her friends told her not to marry an Irishman; she’d always be poor. But they fell in love. Mercia proved them wrong as she ended up immigrating to America, traveling all over the world, and eventually living in a penthouse apartment in San Francisco.
Paddy and Mercia were married in 1942 and took a flat together. They went off for a short honeymoon at the coast of England, and when they returned, their flat had been bombed. While Patrick Anthony was being born at the maternity home, an air raid took place, and a blackout was called. It is uncertain what happened, but Mercia almost died, and she was never able to have more children. While in the hospital she was given milk at meals, to which she was unaccustomed, so she subsequently became ill.
Hastings, England
It was during this time that women and children were evacuated out of London, to the coast. They moved to the coastal town of Hastings where Patrick went to school. One by one, Mercia would bring Paddy’s brothers and sisters over from Ireland, teach them at her kitchen table, and procure jobs for them. The boys learned from Pat’s school books and qualified for good jobs.
Uncle John worked as a Bobby in London. (We still have his “helmet”). He married a nice English girl, and they had two children. Uncle Maurice died in infancy, along with Aunt Pauline, from illness. The second Uncle Maurice, (called Mossy) was killed in an accident. Uncle Mike immigrated to America, married an Italian girl and had a career. Aunt Greta, Aunt Joan, and Aunt Doris learned to be proper English ladies in Mercia’s home. They procured positions as “Domestics”, met nice English boys and got married. Aunt Greta immigrated to Europe. Aunt Doris married a Scotsman who worked as a guard at Buckingham Palace. Aunt Joan married a London Metropolitan policeman. In 1955 Uncle Mike and Aunt Angie sponsored Paddy and Mercia to immigrate to America.
The Queen Mary!
They sold everything and booked their passage with a White Line steamer. They discovered at the dock, there had either been an error, or they were scammed. They were in the White Line office with no tickets, no place to live, and Uncle Mike expecting them in New York. The White Line vowed they would get the little family passage on the very next ship departing to New York. It happened to be the “Queen Mary”. (We still have their passenger list and menus from that voyage!)
They were provided an inside cabin in steerage. Their friends had cautioned them not to eat all the rich food, after having been on rations in England, and having very little fresh food. In that era, passengers were restricted to their ticket class, so they stayed mostly on the steerage deck. However, as a child of 12, Pat had freedom to roam about, and would steal fresh fruit from First Class. The captain also let him “steer the boat”.
New York, USA
That first snowy New York winter, there weren’t a lot of days Paddy could paint houses. His friends said that in California you can work outside all year around. So, Paddy bought a car and drove his family across America to the West Coast, landing in San Francisco. He went to the union office and never lacked work again. He moved his family into an apartment on the top floor of a 14-floor building. After he got his contractor’s license, he worked most of his career painting and repainting the Fielding Building in San Francisco. He had his own Painting business as well.
In the Navy on the USS Caliente
Patrick became a citizen so he could serve in the Navy. His parents, Paddy and Mercia got their citizenship the same day. (We have the clipping from the Chronicle). Pat met Charleen in High School, and they got engaged. This was the 1960’s, Viet Nam War era.
A few weeks before the wedding, the USS Caliente was deployed to the Pacific Ocean. Their tour got extended and Pat had no way to call Charleen to let her know. When she called the Navy, they could not give out information. A few days before the wedding, still no word. Charleen’s mother said, “Your father has paid for the church and people are invited; come Saturday you’re going to marry SOMEBODY.”
Meanwhile on the Caliente, Pat was desperately trying to get off. He told his Commanding Officer he was supposed to get married; he HAD to get back to San Francisco. The Cap said if he could find a ship heading back to port, he could hitch a ride. Pat bribed the radioman with cigarettes, and got him to call around and finally locate a tanker that was heading in. That captain agreed to haul alongside, and Pat had to “highline” (check that out) from one ship to the other, out at sea, with 20 foot swells. That ship docked in San Diego. Pat hitch-hiked to San Francisco in time for the rehearsal dinner!
The Journey continues
Over 58 years later, they are still in love. Their 2 sons grew up in California, giving them 6 grandchildren, and so far, 16 great-grandchildren.
From an only child of Irish descent in a bombed out flat in England, to the Queen Mary, to highlining on the high seas, this is the story of Patrick Anthony Hurton.
Has your world been touched by dementia?
My book, “FinishingWell: Finding the Joy in Dementia”, is a collection of stories and tips about doing life with my Mama. May it encourage and inspire you to find joy on your own, unique journey.