Mama lived with us for a season after my Daddy passed away. During that time, dementia continually claimed more and more of her abilities. Her attention span was decreasing, and she would often tire or lose interest in activities she had previously enjoyed. A few things remained. Singing was her very favorite, but we couldn’t always do that. Mama’s second favorite activity was looking at pictures of smiling faces. One day, I came across an old church directory filled with photos of all the members. She loved it!
Smiling Faces
Muriel Blankenship
Wayne and I enjoyed watching Mama as she browsed through page after page of photos in the directory. She would emulate all the various smiles of each person. One face, in particular, caused Mama to react in an amusing way. It was of one of the older ladies in the church. Instead of a smile, she had an odd expression on her face. Every time Mama came across that photo she would gasp and point at it. Then she would try to mimic the expression. After a moment, she would simply turn the page and continue her perusal of the photos.
Smiles are one of the enduring forms of communication with someone who has dementia. When you smile, very good things happen. Smiles, especially combined with eye contact convey kindness to the one you are smiling at. Even though Mama had a touch of glaucoma, she could still see faces. One of the best aspects of smiles is that they are contagious! When you see a smile, it is almost an automatic response to smile back.
Smiles Can Reduce Stress
According to an article published in PsychCentral, among other things, “Smiling can help reduce stress. When you smile, your heart rate slows and other stress indicators go away faster than if you don’t smile. Smiling can lengthen your lifespan…Smiling signals to others that you are friendly and likable and not a threat.”
As it turned out we also discovered that it wasn’t just human faces that delighted Mama. She had a poster of adorable puppies she loved to gaze at as well. Any book or poster featuring cute smiling babies – human or animal, all got her attention. In fact, here’s a great gift idea for your loved one. When getting a card for a special occasion – or just because, try to find a greeting card with a picture of something or someone smiling on it.
Whether you are caregiving for a loved one or are a professional caregiver, you are responsible for their well-being. When spending time with someone you are caring for, always remember to wear your smile. It not only lifts the spirits of the person you are with but smiling will cause you to feel better.
Smile For a While and Let’s be Jolly
What if you don’t feel like smiling due to a tough day, bad news, or a harried schedule? One of my previous posts, “Smile for a While and let’s be Jolly.” provides tips and benefits of smiling – even when you don’t feel like it. Spoiler alert…although genuine smiles provide the biggest benefit, smiling when you don’t feel like it is still good for you. And here’s something else to smile about – the best thing about smiles is that they are free.
Has your world been touched by dementia?
My book, “FinishingWell: Finding the Joy in Dementia”, is a collection of stories and tips about doing life with my Mama. May it encourage and inspire you to find joy on your own, unique journey. Find our group on Facebook