Back in 1952, Gene Kelly took the world by storm in the musical, “Singin’ in the Rain”. When Arthur Freed wrote the lyrics for that iconic song, I suspect that he must have spent some time in the Carolina’s where the rains are abundant in every season of the year – especially in the spring.
Singing played an essential role in my daily life while caring for my Mama, who lived with dementia for over a decade. She loved to sing – especially in the car. Growing up, our family enjoyed traveling and seeing the country. Every summer we would jump in the car and go visit relatives, National Parks, and other places of interest. We sang and sang throughout every trip.
The movie is pretty great as well!
Music is a mood enhancer
Several studies seem to indicate that music enhances the lives of dementia patients. That was certainly true in Mama’s case. It also improves the mood and emotions of those caring for them.
Music is the language of the soul. It appears to enter the brain differently than other sounds. Musical therapy provides the most benefit when a person is engaged in it rather than just having songs play in the background. Singing, humming, or even whistling are the best ways to connect to the music. Also, the use of headphones can be helpful.
Music lives in the soul
One of the most surprising discoveries we made in this adventure called “Caring for Mama”, was that the ability to sing does not decline at the same rate as other abilities – even talking. It could be, as my husband says, “Music does not reside in the brain, it lives in the soul.”
The most heartfelt songs seem to be the tunes from a person’s formative years. For my Mama, who was born in 1931, the top hits of the 1940s and ‘50s had the most impact on her. However, her all-time favorite song, “My Wild Irish Rose” came out in 1899.
Not sure what music is best? Play a song and watch for a positive reaction. Create a playlist. If it turns out the list is short, that’s fine. It is okay to play a song more than once, as long as it is helpful to the listener.
Ability to sing lasts longer
Music is so powerful that even after Mama lost the ability to carry on a conversation – or even speak, she could still sing. I would look into her eyes to get her attention and say, “Sing with me, Mama, sing with me!” I began singing – usually “My Wild Irish Rose”, and often, she would join me at once. Other times, I would have to repeat the first couple of lines of the song while encouraging her to sing with me. It was incredible to watch her go from barely moving her lips to singing.
The times I spent with Mama also made a difference for her roommates and the staff members of the care home where she spent her final days. They enjoyed our sing-a-longs and even requested their favorites.
Her ability to sing was one of the last pieces of herself she was able to hang on to. Mama loved music – especially musicals, but ultimately, the path of dementia took her from the “Sound of Music” to the “Sound of Silence“. I regret that I had not recorded her voice when I had the chance.
Once dementia finally silenced Mama’s singing, I sang the songs for her. At times her eyes would show recognition. But regardless of her response (or lack of it), I knew they were getting in. Music truly is a marvelous elixir for the soul.
Has your world been touched by dementia?
My book, “FinishingWell: Finding The Joy in Dementia”, is a collection of stories and tips about doing life with my Mama. May it encourage and inspire you to find joy on your own, unique journey. Find our group on Facebook
I think this is one of the most important points for a caregiver to know!
Thank you, Bambi. I agree – singing is an essential part of care-giving.
Thank you… this is truly wonderful advice.
Thank you for this information on singing. I am going to remember this when I visit a good friend this week who has dementia.