Back in 1969, the band, ‘Three Dog Night’ struck a resounding chord with their hit song, ‘One’ . The song begins, “One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do”. It’s as true today as it was back then. The recent COVID pandemic with the culture that emerged from it has unfortunately created a lot of ‘Ones’ – a multitude of folks isolated from family and friends.
Loneliest study
Sadly for those forced into seclusion, the environment of loneliness created by the virus has also raised the risk of developing dementia brought on by isolation requirements. Isolation can increase the risk of dementia. One study, conducted for over a decade determined that people experiencing loneliness in the age range of 60-79 could have as much as three times the risk of developing dementia.
Like the COVID virus, feelings of loneliness are universal. Nevertheless, there is reason for hope. It may be too early to say, but it appears that things are starting to look up as signs of normalcy begin to emerge.
Reducing lonely emotions
One way to combat feelings of loneliness is to slowly and safely re-enter social activities enjoyed before the virus arrived. Not quite ready for the big step of in-person interaction? Connecting with others digitally is better than no connection at all. It is not as easy as one would think. It’s much easier to sit down than to stand back up. Once restrictions are lifted, it may be a bit daunting to go out among folks again. But, driven by the need for social interaction, we can ease back into our prior activities and social events.
The important element about socializing is that it must be intentional. Simply attending a party or a function is not enough. The old maxim we have all heard still applies today: “People can feel lonely in a crowd”. Keys to combating loneliness can include conversations and chats with old friends or new acquaintances – along with plans made for future get-togethers.
What about those who have already developed dementia. Does isolation affect them? A study done by the National Institutes of Health concluded that “People experiencing dementia are prone to accelerated progression of their disease due to restrictions in social interactions”.
Lonely loved-ones
I was having a conversation with a friend one day. He was grieving over his dad who has dementia, and the painful reality called loneliness. My heartbroken friend went on to say that everything changed once dementia crept in and took over. No matter what his father had achieved, done, or who he’d helped, friends, colleagues, and even family began to avoid him.
Regrettably, a person’s forgetfulness tends to cause friends and family to forget about them. Not in the cold, unfeeling, or hateful way. No! Rather, in more of the “I don’t know what to say”, or the “Why go? They won’t even know I’m there”, or “It’s too sad or depressing to see them in that situation” kind of way.
This is not new. Even before the pandemic, friends and even family members often pulled away from loved ones diagnosed with dementia. When it comes to folks afflicted with this condition, not only is it The long goodbye, but it is also a Journey of lonesomeness.
It can be heart-wrenching to experience. It is more important than ever to help someone with any form of mild cognitive impairment avoid isolation. Visits are essential! While memory may be diminishing, the feelings they experience during a visit are very real, and stay with them for a long time afterward.
Do you have a loved one with dementia? You may also have noticed former friends or even relatives tend to fade away. It could be that it is easier to remember someone as they were instead of their present condition. Perhaps they are unsure how to visit with somebody who has changed so much. It is so vital to preserve contact.
A few suggestions when visiting a person with dementia
- Smile.
- Keep conversation upbeat.
- Never argue.
- Sing the old songs.
- Read aloud.
- Pray out loud for them.
You may not fall into either of the previous situations. However, you may know or notice someone alone or lonely. Is it possible to carve out a bit of time here and there to stop by for a visit? You may never know what a difference your acts of kindness will make.
Has your world been touched by dementia?
My book, “FinishingWell: Finding Joy in Dementia”, is a collection of stories and tips about doing life with my Mama. May it encourage and inspire you to find joy on your own, unique journey. Find our group on Facebook
Good article. I like the tips. Timely.
Thank you! That is always my goal in writing these posts. 💕