Great starts are easy, the goal is to finish well
“Who are you?” No, that is not the person with dementia asking. If your loved one moves to a Skilled Nursing Facility (SNF) or Care Home, their past may be virtually a blank slate. Perhaps this question comes from a compassionate CNA or other health care worker, or even one of the other various persons who are now engaging in your loved one’s life.
What does a small city in northern California have in common with several Mediterranean countries? Olives! More specifically, olive oil.
Having lived in an olive-growing region most of our lives has allowed us to develop a certain fondness for high-quality olive oil.
It is refreshing to discover that in a world filled with stories about dementia – living with it, caring for folks who have it, or actively trying to lower their own risk, there are still folks who remain sharp and vibrant as they reach 80 years of age. A good friend of mine, D’Lorah Hurton, just threw a fantastic 80th birthday party for one such octogenarian – her father-in-law.
D’Lorah and I have been friends for over 50 years. During a recent visit, I learned that she had not only put together quite the celebration for her father-in-law’s big day, but she also recorded his life history – complete with photos. She has graciously agreed to post his story on this blog. Enjoy his journey.
It is a beautiful, cool summer morning. Our last day of vacation in Northern California. Sitting at the table, I see nature being active through the window. A pair of white-breasted nuthatches chase each other down and up the tree, while several butterflies flit and fly all around the enormous agapanthus flowers drawn in by their lovely fragrance. Hummingbirds also enjoy the nectar. I’ve been enchanted by several sightings of these beautiful, tiny aerial fighters as they squabble over the blooms. Just beyond the lush green lawn, a deer wanders back and forth browsing and sampling tasty bits around the fig orchard.
Whenever the topic of preventing dementia comes up, one item that seems to rise to the top of the list is rest – usually in the form of sleep. As in ‘get enough sleep each night’. While that is great advice, there are aspects of rest that need to happen in your waking hours as well. The secret is to somehow find the balance between all the responsibilities you have for your loved one, and your own well-being.
What do you get when you cross the Mediterranean and the DASH diet? You get the MIND diet. It was developed by nutritional epidemiologist Martha Clare Morris, ScD, and her colleagues at Rush University Medical Center. They used the best of both diets to create a powerhouse meal plan for the brain. Just what we need – one more diet, right? But don’t be too hasty to dismiss this as just another fad. A variety of studies have confirmed that the effects of the MIND diet on brain function showed greater benefits than either the Mediterranean or the DASH diet alone.
Not too long ago, Wayne and I went out for a bite of lunch. We were enjoying ourselves. The food was good and there was pleasant music playing in the background. At one point, we noticed a family near us. It was a middle-aged couple and an older lady we assumed to be their Mama. She reminded me a bit of my Mama. She seemed to be having a delightful time while eating her meal as well as swaying to the music. When it changed to a faster tempo, she began clapping along. The couple with her seemed a bit uncomfortable with the way she was acting, saying things such as, “Settle down now Mama, eat your food.” And, “Don’t clap so loud, just enjoy the music.”
Mama lived with us for a season after my Daddy passed away. During that time, dementia continually claimed more and more of her abilities. Her attention span was decreasing, and she would often tire or lose interest in activities she had previously enjoyed. A few things remained. Singing was her very favorite, but we couldn’t always do that. Mama’s second favorite activity was looking at pictures of smiling faces. One day, I came across an old church directory filled with photos of all the members. She loved it!
After several years of settling into our new community, we thought we were pretty much acquainted with all its unique culture and customs. Well, one day when a senior’s group we are involved with mentioned thabeginning line dance class, it sounded like fun, so we signed up. As it turned out, it was a ton of fun – but way different than I imagined it would be. My experience with line dancing has been limited to the Western music genres. I was quite surprised when the dance instructor began to play the first song. It was an incredibly catchy R&B/Hip Hop song called ‘The Cupid Shuffle’.
Wayne’s parents came up from Florida to spend Christmas with us this year. While preparing for their visit, we called and asked what food and drinks they would prefer. Our new Mom (the bride of his 90-year-old dad) immediately said, “Dark Chocolate hot cocoa.” I didn’t know there was such a thing as dark chocolate…